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So It is over…

So It is over…

The day i thought it was over between the both of us.. Well, obviously it wasn’t really over.. It was just the day when saying that to him seemed like a simpler option..
I kept believing all these days that there was still a way we could get back together.. Well, you know people, that’s the worst phase, not completely stopping..  You can’t push the break and still expect the car to run.. It just won’t… I deleted his contact from my phone and just yesterday when i saved it back, i saw his display picture on whats app with his ex..
I felt a sudden rush of i don’t know what.. Lol.. All of this is very new to me.. As he would always tell me, ‘you’re just 19’.. Well that’s what i told myself when i could not figure out the dilemma.. But after a few minutes all i just did was playing some super awesome songs and dancing like i didn’t care and well i was just wondering if i was celebrating the moment, when i finally knew he’s not holding onto me or if it was the only way to stay grounded and not fall apart, only way to explode the hope and stop believing..
Sometimes in life, you just won’t be okay.. Its a constant fight between what you are and what you have to be… And we always choose to be the latter coz we are too scared to be ourselves.. But then that’s how you will grow into being the best of yourself… ‘Having to be’ will just not let u understand yourself.. So next time when you fall and you feel pain, shout and express it.. Bcoz its completely alright.. You are acting human and that’s not a crime.. If the others are human to, they’d sympathise with you instead of making fun..  Don’t be scared of those idiot who’d laugh.. Well they have nothing better to do so that’s how they make themselves happy… Yeah, but remember to get up, its okay to ask for a bit of help but the walking is an independent    activity and on the way remember to be glad, that you made a few people laugh.. So it can’t be that bad…
Be you.. Its okay to be stupid.. To fall apart, to cry, to be weak but then one day all those things just fall into place and you evolve to be a better person..
And for now, i’m planning to delete his contact forever, i’ll need time to figure out but yes i won’t run away from the fact that i’m in pain but this thing also teaches you that pain stops nothing.. You still breathe, your heart still beats for you, it’s just that your mind becomes to blinded to realise it… I believe, its this constant fight towards realising that and then all you would be feeling is ‘”GRATEFUL”

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Be you.. Just breathe sometimes and tell yourself "its okay"

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Posted by on July 31, 2014 in life, love

 

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The guy who never replied

Today i write an email to this guy who never quite replied to my texts and because once he told me he never ignores his mail.. So just in the hope that this mail of mine will find some ‘peace’ of his mind.. I write this..
Dear Mr. Busy,
    I decide to let go..  Today your ex asked you to get back into her life and all you could tell her was, ” i am confused”.. So when you held me in your cabin, what was all that?! I did not find confusion..
You told me you understand what i am going through.. I so wish you did, because if that was the case, you would have lied to me, told me that u asked her to leave your life… But you chose to hurt me with the truth instead..
She’s messed, she’s not finding a job, she has problems, well sure as hell she does but aren’t we all going through this same shit.. How come is it that i never crossed your mind when you wished to shower people with sympathy..
I visualised dreams having you and me.. Always wondered I’ll share it with you when the right time arrives but then there is this one thing that won’t happen.. The right time just never really arrives.. The moment was just never meant to be or just couldn’t be..
I let you go because she needs you more than i do.. I would grow in your love but she would bask in it..
If i had you, each morning i couldn’t watch the guilt in your eye that screams to me saying,”she needs me”.. Because again you’d ignore that look in my eye that says,”just stay.. I need you too” and i’d just give you away in the hope that someday you’d just go back to the moment and re-read the look in my eye and know, that we were meant to be..
Sincerely,
The girl you never really loved.
http://theguywhoneverrepliedback

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At times the real challenge is to be the stronger person and to decide to ‘let go’ off something that chooses to do no good to you..

 
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Posted by on July 12, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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